Things I Learned in 2015

things i've learned2013 may have been the year of my undoing.  2014 was the year I got my shit together.  2015 was simply, my year.   It was a very exciting year, with ups and downs and roller-coasters, literally.   But I learned some things along the way…

I learned that love not only means having to say I’m sorry, but you have to mean it too. 

I learned that it is OK to say I need my space, as long as you don’t live in the quiet alone too long.

I learned to ride roller-coasters with my eyes open.

I learned that Sam and I don’t watch the same movies, read the same books, listen to the same music, but we drink and cook well together and the rest we can figure out.

I learned how to let Sam love me. 

I learned that accepting the apology that will never come is sometimes the right thing to do. 

I learned that I had been looking at my past with more filters than can be found on Instagram. 

I learned that some people will never change, and their desire to control my life will never die.

I learned that being happy, having my shit together, makes their attempts to control my life laughable and ineffective.

I learned that embracing my past, and doing better going forward makes my past mistakes powerless to hurt me. 

I learned that sometimes the one you thought was your enemy turns out to be your strongest ally. 

I learned that a phone call can bring tears to my mother’s eyes, and that being a daughter to her isn’t really that painful.

I learned how to bare my soul, and to speak honestly, even if it hurt, and especially if my voice shakes.

I learned it is ok (and sometimes necessary) to cut toxic people from your life. 

I learned that people will try to guilt me into doing what they want, but that I shouldn’t let their guilt influence me.

I learned that grief sometimes looks and sounds a whole lot like anger. 

I learned that Earl Grey may be an asshole, but he’s also an attention whore. 

I learned that my sister’s 40th birthday bothers me more than my 40th did.  Much like her 18th and 21st did. 

I learned that having a safe place to vent is also like having permission to focus on the bad. 

I am looking forward to 2016 and excited about all there is to learn.

About Becky

While control is an illusion, organization helps to manage the chaos of our lives. Becky was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2007. She has found that when her life and home are organized her bipolar mind is less manic. She shares her attempts at managing the chaos of living with her fiance and tweenage step-daughter, while trying to be a good parent to her mostly grown children who live 2 hours away.

Comments are closed.