Today is the day. At 1:30 CST I will enter the courtroom to stand before the judge for the final time. My attorney and I will tell the judge that I have met all the requirements asked of me. And the judge will say I’m free to go.
I will turn and walk out of the courtroom, leaving the judge, my attorney and all of my legal issues behind me.
I will be done. I will be free.
I remember very distinctly last summer, sitting in jail, listening to the stories being told and thinking “This is stupid. I am way too smart and way too old to be doing this.” I had lost my job, lost my girls, lost family and friends, I had lost too much. Just because I was stupid and irresponsible, and scared.
I decided then and there that I was never going back.
I have seen rock bottom, and I have reached my scary age. It’s way past time to put on my Big Girl Panties and get my shit together. This is just another hurdle cleared, another thing I can check off, and put behind me.
All that is left is the big stuff… I need a job… not just for the financial reasons, but for the mental health reasons. I need to feel productive, I need to have a purpose, something to do, somewhere to go. I need to be back in the real world again. I need to be normal.
One step at a time.